With a desperate expression on his face, my best friend is sitting at the table opposite me. He comes from New Year’s dinner with his associates. He’s going:
I can’t believe it. We were in the finest restaurant of the city, where the menu starts at 80 €. It was delicious, no question. But the conversations were completely without meaning, almost hollow. We have money, we are successful, we think we are great. But the looks of my colleagues are uncertain. Like they don’t really know who they are. They keep looking for confirmation. I don’t know what’s going on. Two or three years ago, I didn’t notice it that way. But I could cry right now. Or maybe just start screaming.
Well, you’ve outgrown your environment.
You used to grow out of your long trousers over the summer as a child, and now the same thing is happening to your life plan.
Nothing for now. Patience. Now is the time to endure the unknown. This is the most difficult thing for successful people like you.
No quick problem solving, but for a while: silence. Nothing.
Are you serious?
Yeah, totally. I know a little bit about this.
With the unknown one cannot be familiar per se. 😉
I am a soul coach and know that the comfort zone borders on a layer of consciousness which we perceive as “unknown” and which we usually shy away from. It is only “one layer” that can be crossed. There is often something very valuable behind it!
There’s nothing wrong with you meeting her. Therefore you don’t have to search for errors. Neither with you nor with the others.
When you realize that you no longer fit into the previously pleasant setting, it is time to pause and listen to your heart. This is how you take a step forward.
A step which, as Rilke says, “comes from deep inside, and nothing can push or accelerate it”.
Most people despair at such a moment and try to do more of the old to suppress their discomfort. To work even harder, to set even more ambitious goals, to take another big step up the career ladder.
But more of the old does not lead to something new. The result then meets in the burn-out clinics.
I’ve been there twice, thank you. There must be another way.
Yes, there is. It is called paradigm shift. You have to look at the whole setting in which you live in peace.
Not only your daily rhythm, work-life balance and eating habits. But and especially your inner setting: your values. Your belief systems. Your world view. Your vision of life. And update them.
It may well be that you are striving for the wrong goals with the perfect strategy and maximum motivation. And then wonder why you never arrive or are disappointed and unhappy. Like now.
For such a stocktaking, however, it takes a moment of silence and exhalation. And possibly a conversation partner for deeper exchange and reflection.
Pausing is the key. Have the guts!